BITTER SWEET

“You are paramount to this family”. It was her father’s mantra ever since arrangements were made for her to leave for school.  “You are the first and only girl of this family, so I want you to be careful while out there…very careful”. 

Careful of friends. Careful of boys.  She knew what he meant. “Dad, Thanks! But you know this is a digital era. Nothing is going to happen to me. Besides I’m a big girl”, teasing him. “I’ll be fine”. It thrilled her so much that she would be moving out soon to see the world she had yearned long to see. She was well trained and mannered. Her parents were proud of her.

  Her mom was never left out in offering her own piece or rather chunk of advices. It was inexhaustible. She cooked up strange scenarios and instances of how things went bad for students in school.

 Mary left for school a week later. She was free. She met with different persons and her room mates were something else. They scarcely attended classes. They never failed to know the latest party in campus and night clubs was more or less their second home. They hooked up with different boys and men sometimes bringing them home. They traveled like the world’s busiest business women. “They are” she muttered sometime ago when she thought about it. But they respected her. In as much as they where imprudent as regards moral standard, they never meddled in her business. They all reverenced her views, or so she thought.

 She was a big girl. A good girl until her third year in school.  Advances were made to her by exotic young men. It was tempting. Lecturers where never left out at the attempt. It was more terrifying when her mother lost her Job. Her father had died of diabetes in her first year in school. The news was overwhelming. She got seriously sick during that period that she missed writing some school exams. But she managed to survive. But this was not prepared for. She was aware of how dire things were for her mom after the loss of her father. Her mother had to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of the family; financially and otherwise. Her sibling school fees were increasing rapidly as if the school knew their current state and wanted to choke the life out of her family. Philip was in senior secondary class two.  James Just finished his junior class exam. The problem had become herculean than she had anticipated. She began noticing and wondering how her room mates survived. She never noticed. She never wanted to. But now, it was different. Circumstances have changed.

  “Ann” as her room mates called her most time, “house rent matter don show o. How are we going to handle it? Chioma said she told you about it three weeks ago”. Chioma was the eldest among them. She often played the role of the mother. And Jessica took over her when she wasn’t around.

“Jessica, things are kind of tough for me now. It’s kind of worse this semester”. Jessica suspected she had some issues but never asked.

“What do you mean worse?”

Mary hardly spoke on such topic. She was strangely reserved. “I mean I’m broke. Very broke”.

 “Then tell your folks to send you money nau…I mean your mom”. She exclaimed without knowing her situation. She could never know. Not when she’s busy with friends and parties and boys. “Abi na you dey pay your house rent and school fees since”?

“My mom lost her Job last-”

 “What”! Jessica exclaimed without letting her finish her statement.

“-last semester”.  Mary didn’t believe she was telling someone this. But she needed to talk to someone. She needed help.

“Are you for real”?

“Yes, I am” She said with a pitiful face, as she rolled up from her bed where she had laid thinking of how life was turning against her. Even her best Yanni track lacked frisson these days.  She knew if she didn’t get the money soon enough, she would be kicked out. That won’t be a problem for Chioma. She’s done it before. Besides they never got along with each other. Mary never liked to be mothered around. She had her mother’s to contend with. Not from a stranger.

“So how have you been managing”?Jessica asked, concerned. She was nice. Nicer than the rest of the two. Though she had her moments when she never gave a damn about who you are and what your problem is.  But she was kind of fond of Mary.

 “I’ve survived all along from my savings. Last semester I paid for most of my expenses. I have nothing left. When I call she tells me to be patient. I understand the situation she is in, but I have no one else to look up to. Not my dad in his grave”.  Streak of tears were streaming down her chick now. Silence crept in for a moment.

 “I think I’ve had enough. I need to get something doing to sort myself out”. She continued. This time her voice was increasing as she wiped her tears off. It seemed as if the little conversation spiked out some hidden energy and sense of reasoning.

 “What do you want to do then”? Jessica asked.

“I don’t know Jessie”. Confused again.

 “I can’t practically be working a full time Job and schooling at the same time”. She said with a disconcerted face. “O girl! This is serious o!” It was serious. And she suspected Jessica didn’t want to listen to her stories as she withdrew outside to where the other girls were washing and chatting. It was a Saturday and all the girls were around. She was supposed to do her own washing too. But she was all drained out by deep thought.

Photo credit: Dianne Machesney